How Will Mom Be Remembered?

Every year near Mother’s Day, candies, flowers, cards and other gifts fly out of stores in honor of mothers. As a mother of five, I’ve received my share of homemade gifts and various treasures from my children through the years. Being a mom is a never-ending role that has its rewards and its challenges, and I’m sure all you moms will agree that once you enter motherhood, you are never the same. The ability to think of yourself alone no longer exists because you carry your children in your heart forever. It doesn’t completely change even when they get married (as I am now learning). I must say, even with all the challenges that accompany raising a household of children, there is nothing like it, which is probably why we are never the same!

Recently, I had the joy of meeting a lovely pastor’s wife named Urshanna at a women’s conference. At dinner, she shared how she had lost her mother at the age of 12. Her mother wasn’t just anyone; she had come from a very influential family in their ministry’s denomination. Urshanna shared what an amazing loss she had experienced, and I could see that she had not only lost a mother but her heroine. She described her mother to us, “She was a stunning, beautiful lady that everyone knew and loved amidst the congregation and denomination. She was an amazing hostess, so beautiful inside and outside, with poise, kindness, laughter and engaging ways. Her family loved her. She was always dressed lovely; even at home she wore beautiful robes, had a glowing smile and invited the company of many around her since she was so beloved. She was fun and made everything enjoyable. Our home was a place of warmth, and open, honest sharing, caring and laughter. She was so giving of herself. Even when she was dying with cancer, she remained so pleasant that no one really knew how sick she was and all were shocked when she actually died.”

By the time Urshanna was finished telling about her mom, I could see the picture of a poised woman graced with not only external beauty, but internal and eternal beauty as well. My mind saw the likes of a few movie stars I had seen in black and white movies from the 40’s (even though her mom was younger). I tearfully told Urshanna that I hoped my own children would remember me with such gracious words as those that poured from her heart regarding her mother, her heroine. Our conversation made me ask, “How will my children and close relationships remember me? What will be my legacy? Will I be spoken about with such eloquent words as this young woman spoke describing her mother?” It was clear to me that the beauty I saw in Urshanna the deep, penetrating sparkle in her eyes, coal black hair and beautiful face and smile, and more importantly, her sweet, tender compassion, and fun outlook were traits from her mother, even though she had not seen her for many years.

Last month we watched family home movies on my daughter Polly’s birthday. I saw myself on the video with our children reciting scripture, playing with them, and potty-training! I was pleased to see and remember what I had labored over for so many years instilling faith, love and hope in our children, not perfectly, but most of the time doing my best. I feel a sense of great accomplishment as I look at their adult lives and their love for God. I am still, and always will be, a mother.

On this Mother’s Day, I’m not looking for gifts. Instead, I’m asking myself, “How will I be remembered by my family?” How about your legacy? Will you and I be the mothers that were remembered as kind, gentle, and focused on what was truly important to our families, or will we be simply self-focused? These questions led me to compile my list of what makes a woman beautiful and what hinders her. It really comes down to attitude!

What (Attitude) Not to Wear:

• Sour face, frown
• Critical, judgmental spirit
• Gossiping words
• Sighing, whining, and self-pitiful words
• Self-centeredness (diva gone bad)
• Self-neglect (martyr)
• Negativity (too tired for adventure)
• Laziness

What to Wear:

• A smile and positive outlook
• Kindness and compassion
• Godliness (peace, joy, love from Him)
• Humility, yet confident outlook
• Kind words
• Balanced care for others and self
• Fun, energetic
• Industrious work habits

“A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the reward she deserves.” (Proverbs 31)

Happy Mother’s Day, everyday!

Love,

Drenda

P.S. Check out Drenda’s CD Series, “A More Fabulous You” available by clicking here